Safe vs ALL-IN Engineering Management

Why some people find it impossible to work with me

There are 2 approaches to being an engineering manager:

1. The Safe Engineering Manager

2. The All-In Engineering Manager

And they don’t work well together.

Safe Engineering Management

You have a good relationship with your manager. You respect each other, and when they recommend something you listen. You fully believe in “disagree and commit” - less disagree, more commit.

You like the structured process of Scrum. The daily standups, the planning, the retrospectives. You sleep well knowing each sprint will look exactly the same. You’ll reach the sprint goals as you promised, and your velocity will stay high.

You understand the product manager has their job, and you have yours, so you don't try to annoy them, trusting they'll do the job well. They create the roadmap, and your job is to deliver it on time. You pride yourself on your technical knowledge and leave the business side to the PM.

You have a good relationship with your people. You have weekly 1:1s, which are not just status updates. You talk about their career goals a bit. You ask a couple of questions about their family. If they ask for a raise, you mention it to your manager, and then respect whatever decision they make.

You are always calm and composed. It’s just work after all.

Your mantra is: “I’ll do the best I can in my area of responsibility”.

All-in Engineering Management

Your manager thinks you are a headache. You always want something from them - push one of your agendas, better compensation for your people, a promotion for yourself. They respect you though, and know you try to do the best for the company.

While your manager finds you just mildly annoying - your PM thinks you are a complete pain in the ass. You challenge the product roadmap. You are curious about the business side. You want to talk to customers and solve their problems. You demand a high standard, and want to know exactly what the goal of each feature, what KPI we are trying to improve.

You are never satisfied with ‘high velocity’ and ‘delivering on time’. You are constantly challenging your processes and trying new things. You dream about achieving business outcomes, not more story points.

And what about your people? You’ll go through fire for them. There is no such thing as “no” if their interests are involved. No budget for salary increases? Well, your manager will have to find some. You don’t just help them figure out career paths, you actually try to do something about that. If you need to create an opening, you’ll harass everyone until it happens.

You always have some side projects and initiatives you try to push. You probably annoyed most of the executives and CEO with your ideas. You just can’t slack off, so many things you can improve!

You just truly, deeply, care.

Your mantra is: “I’ll do the absolute best I can”.

Why Safers hate All-Inners

I’m often ridiculed for being an All-Inner:

- “You are not a founder, why do you care so much?”
- “Let your people fight their own fights, they are grown-ups”
- “Just relax a little”
- “You cannot change everybody, each person has their job responsibilities”
- “You’ve got to accept a ‘no’”

Here’s my answer:

I know that working with an All-Inner is tiring. I expect a lot, and I don’t give up if it’s uncomfortable. I’m in a constant battle to change things, and I create chaos.

But that’s me. That’s how I work. That’s how I live.

I can’t just stop caring. I can’t do just a little. It takes me a lot of effort to disagree and commit.

Logically, I know people are different, everyone has their own approach, and that I should stop trying to change people. It doesn’t help.

Some day, I hope to work in a happy [without Elon-Musk-like-100-hour-weeks] place where everyone is an All-Inner. Where the energy is contagious, and everyone BELIEVES in what we are trying to achieve. Like a huge founding team.

Maybe it’s naive, and I should choose - balance and happiness, or high energy and all-in mentality. But maybe not.

I don’t know the answer yet, but I’ll keep looking.

What I enjoyed reading this week

1. The ONE framework you should know (and is actually useful). This was a big surprise for me - I’m not big on frameworks. AMAZING post by

   Jordan Cutler
   and
   Torsten Walbaum
   , one of the rare ones that will actually affect my day to day.

2. Your First Team Breaks You Before They Build You by

   Taha Hussain
   . This one really resonated.

3. How to give a senior leader feedback (without getting fired) by

   Wes Kao
   . Another gem, super useful if you aim to become a senior leader someday.